Book: 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children age 2-12

I had to physically will myself to get over the horrible title of this book and buy it, and I did so because I'm often talking with parents about discipline strategies and this is one that has come up lately. Any title that remotely suggests there is some magic parenting tip out there does not have my attention. But several pages into the book, the author admits that there is in fact no magic to the discipline system. The book discusses strategies for stopping negative behaviors (whining, arguing, tantrums etc.), encouraging starting behaviors (cleaning your room, going to bed, etc.), and spends a few final chapters talking about strengthening your relationship with your kids. The value of the book lies in the "No-Talking No-Emotion" Rule. Almost daily I see parents and teachers negotiating, cajoling, bribing, and yelling at their kids to behave. This book replaces that method (which actually reinforces kids to keep doing what they're doing) with a system in which kids know what they need to do and know what the consequences are if they don't. Directions are clear and simple and consequences are immediate and enforceable. My favorite section were some of the ideas they had for starting behaviors, like cleaning up, getting ready for school, etc. which can take more creativity than stopping bad behaviors.

Overall, the book is very practical and has some good tips for parenting. What it lacks is what all books that are behaviorist in their focus lack, namely the premise that children are not pets--they are thinking, developing, value-seeking humans who need to learn more than just how to behave. They need to learn how to think critically and creatively, solve problems, build relationships, etc. The book does spend a few short chapters talking about relationships and responsibility, but the discussion is brief.

Yet, I can't criticize the book for being something it is not intended to be. If you want to ponder the relational/spiritual dimesions of parenting, pick up Whole Parent Whole Child, or for a good middle of the road, How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk. But I would recommend 1-2-3 Magic as a highly practical parenting book, and a quick and easy read to boot.